Ok, so this will probably be a series
of serious ranting. The reason? One word: REMAKES.
A remake of The Evil Dead is in the
works, apparently. Need I add anything more? No, right? But you know
what, I sure fucking will.
HOLY FUCK. Why? Why do people do this?
Why, oh fuck, why?
I can understand remaking movies that
had good plotline but had terrible production value, I can understand
remaking movies that sucked due to bad acting, I can understand
remaking a movie to fix plotholes or update a motion picture that can
potentially bring something new to the industry. But why, why for the
love of severed limbs do people remake movies that were already
good/innovative/universal/have a cult following? Like, what the fuck
is wrong with these boneheads?
I mean, why the hell should anyone
remake The Evil Dead? Without Bruce Campbell, on top of that. Without
Bruce Campbell. WITHOUT BRUCE CAMPBELL, CAPS LOCK RAGE PLUS MULTIPLE
EXCLAMATION MARKS UNLEASHED!!!
Ok, breathe, calm down. Oh, fuck that,
this is annoying enough to actually throw a temper tantrum.
Especially that this is not the only production I'm raging over, it's
the straw that broke the camel's back, it's the final blow, the
rotten cherry on top of a shit cake that expired 72 years ago and is
now stale as fuck.
This is not just about The Evil Dead,
the movie that constitutes a genre of its own, that is THE movie when
I think of how a single actor can carry an entire film, that is the
perfect mixture of gore, humor and fright, that is the showdown of
creativity and a minimal budget, and I could go on in this manner on,
and on, and on. This is about movies that need no updating being
butchered and exploited by the film industry.
I'm not gonna even start with The Evil
Dead, the movie is still in the works (and hopefully will die and
stay at that stage), I'll review it when (if) it finally hits the
box-office. For now I'll focus on the flood of remakes of my favorite
movies that has started some years ago.
To all those people raping my
nostalgia, I would like to send a special message with the help of
Ash's severed possessed hand:
Yup, that basically sums it up. See you
in the next Remake Rampage post. Soon.
Over&Out
