Why I'm not happy about The Evil Dead remake aka Remake Rampage Vol. 1: Intro.

Ok, so this will probably be a series of serious ranting. The reason? One word: REMAKES.

A remake of The Evil Dead is in the works, apparently. Need I add anything more? No, right? But you know what, I sure fucking will.

HOLY FUCK. Why? Why do people do this? Why, oh fuck, why?

I can understand remaking movies that had good plotline but had terrible production value, I can understand remaking movies that sucked due to bad acting, I can understand remaking a movie to fix plotholes or update a motion picture that can potentially bring something new to the industry. But why, why for the love of severed limbs do people remake movies that were already good/innovative/universal/have a cult following? Like, what the fuck is wrong with these boneheads?

I mean, why the hell should anyone remake The Evil Dead? Without Bruce Campbell, on top of that. Without Bruce Campbell. WITHOUT BRUCE CAMPBELL, CAPS LOCK RAGE PLUS MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION MARKS UNLEASHED!!!

Ok, breathe, calm down. Oh, fuck that, this is annoying enough to actually throw a temper tantrum. Especially that this is not the only production I'm raging over, it's the straw that broke the camel's back, it's the final blow, the rotten cherry on top of a shit cake that expired 72 years ago and is now stale as fuck.

This is not just about The Evil Dead, the movie that constitutes a genre of its own, that is THE movie when I think of how a single actor can carry an entire film, that is the perfect mixture of gore, humor and fright, that is the showdown of creativity and a minimal budget, and I could go on in this manner on, and on, and on. This is about movies that need no updating being butchered and exploited by the film industry.

I'm not gonna even start with The Evil Dead, the movie is still in the works (and hopefully will die and stay at that stage), I'll review it when (if) it finally hits the box-office. For now I'll focus on the flood of remakes of my favorite movies that has started some years ago.

To all those people raping my nostalgia, I would like to send a special message with the help of Ash's severed possessed hand:

Yup, that basically sums it up. See you in the next Remake Rampage post. Soon.

Over&Out

An epic battle for the miserable souls of young women of Poland.

Long story short, two female journalists, educated in social science, wrote an article for Przekrój about a certain fashion/lifestyle blog that happens to be run by my country's Prime Minister's daughter.

So what's the problem? Well, the two ladies decided to evaluate the self& lifestyle image of the said blogger presented on her blog, pointing out the discrepancy between the cost of that lifestyle with the actual financial capabilities of young Polish women. Seasoned with a somewhat less than probable political/ideological backstory of an evil masterplan of total manipulation on the side of the party in power, the authors sound the alarm for all readers of Makelifeeasier: do not let your daily concerns get reduced to cooking, fashion and idyll chit-chats with your girlfriends! Do not let yourself be manipulated into debt and shame of selling yourself for a picture perfect life marketed as standard!

Ymmm, ok. Yeah, I hear you ladies.

I'm not to shabby when it comes to academics myself, in fact I do deal with discourse analysis, I have dealt with manipulation in media and so forth, I do roam about in the blogosphere of my own and other culture&language zones.

That is why, although I do agree with some of their points, I wish to address one issue: 

we (women who follow such blogs) are not morons. 

I strongly believe, that more blog readers like myself know the meaning of the word INSPIRATION (which in this context would mean being inspired by observed content instead of blindly consuming it with the attached price tags). So yes, life in Poland is pricy and it certainly doesn't spoil when we enter adulthood but you know what? We're not that easily reduced to a Stepford Wife level of thinking. Although personally I prefer blogs that are a bit more personal (where bloggers show and share a bit more of their emotions and interests) I do understand that others might not want to show their more down-to-earth side - especially if their dad happens to be the Prime Minister. And could be ridiculed to infinity just because his kid scribbled something about the hardships of pms or hating your neighbors. 

Just saying. 

And now, off I go to my underpaid job, dreaming of life of plastic that I can't afford (wink, wink).

Over&Out.

[Recycled blog] Made in consumptionland

Today I discovered that my old blog (run time: 2005-2011) still exists! I guess it still had about 2 months of shelf-life before being automatically deleted so I logged in and browsed through. Though usually I have no respect or sentiments for my own (more or less) creative work, this time I've decided to actually copy, keep and maybe republish some of my long forgotten rants. Some of them are in Polish, some are in English, so they might get published in either their original language or maybe they will be translated/remastered (I've always wanted to use this word!).

Yeah, anyways here's the entry that marks the end of my previous blog:

"So I was pondering today on the subject of being a conscious consumer, or rather -weather something like that even exists.

Oh, how I'd love to call myself that.Strolling through the store (or rather scudding like an angry storm cloud, since shopping time exceeding 15 mins frustrates me beyond belief) I grab products and proceed with my little ritual:

[food]

Ingredients? Very processed? Will I get cancer from it? How fat will I get from eating it? Were was it made?

[clothing and all things wearable on the torso and limbs]

Ingredients? Very synthetic? Will I get cancer from it? Was it made by kids in China or abused women in Mexico? Or maybe in India?

[beauty products of all breed]

Ingredients? Very synthetic? Will I get cancer from it? Did they hurt any animals with it? Did they hurt any animals with testing any of the ingredients? Where did they make it?

And so, I come to the conclusion that to shun all products that support inflicting hart on all kinds of living beings (and that's synthetic and processed (and will give me cancer)) all that is left are eggs I get from my neighbor. In this day and age, when almost all things bare the infamous "Made in China" tag (t-shirts made with ecological cotton included), when "Not tested on animals" might (and often does) mean not testing only the final product it's damn hard to truly call yourself a conscious consumer. Is it enough to simply be aware that a) a mere commoner is unlikely to be able to live off natural products only, b) even when you think that you're racing down the lane with a 'just item' you probably only know some of the truth about its origins and manufacturing?

Or maybe I'm just being consumed by guilt watching a movie about Chinese factories late at night, sitting in my sweatshirt knitted probably by some poor little Chinese kid?

Anyways and anyhow, here's the move and off I go to bed.
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/santas-workshop/

Over&Out"


[Original version below]

"Tak sobie dzisiaj dumam, czy jest coś takiego jak świadomy konsumpcjonizm?

O, jak chciałabym się nazwać świadomą konsumentką. Przechadzam się po sklepie (krokiem szybkim, jako że dłuższe zakupy mnie frustrują zapieprzam między półkami), chwytam produkt i odbębniam swój rytuał kontroli etykietowej:

[artykuły spożywcze]

Skład? Bardzo sztuczne? Dostanę od tego raka? Bardzo się od tego spasę? Gdzie to wyprodukowali?

[odzież i wszystko co się na korpus i kończyny wciąga]

Skład? Bardzo sztuczne? Dostanę od tego raka? Szyły to dzieci w Chinach albo bite kobiety w Meksyku? A może w Indiach?

[kosmetyki maści wszelkiej]

Skład? Bardzo sztuczne? Dostanę od tego raka? Smarowali tym zwierzęta? Wyprodukowano ze składników, którymi smarowano zwierzęta? Gdzie to wyprodukowali?

I co z tego wychodzi? Ano tyle, że chcąc odstawić wszystko, co przyczynia się do wyzysku istot żywych jakiegokolwiek gatunku (i co jest sztuczne (i od czego prawdopodobnie dostanę raka)) zostają jajka od sąsiadki ze wsi. Gdy na co drugiej metce widnieje napis „Made In China” (włączając w to koszulkę z ekologicznej bawełny, np.), gdy „Nie testowane na zwierzętach” odnosi się jedynie do produktu końcowego, a nie do części składowych, istnieje w ogóle coś takiego jak świadomy konsumpcjonizm? A może istotą takiej świadomości jest właśnie zdanie sobie sprawy, że a) przeciętny, szary człowieczek nie da rady żyć tylko na tym co naturalne, nie testowane na zwierzętach i wyprodukowane z poszanowaniem praw człowieka, b) nawet gdy się człowiekowi wydaje, że z takowym „bezpiecznym” produktem gna do kasy to prawdopodobnie zna o jego pochodzeniu tylko część prawdy.

A może jest już po prostu późno a mnie po dokumencie o chińskich fabrykach dopadły wyrzuty sumienia, że siedzę w bluzie udzierganej przez jakiegoś biednego, małego Chińczyka?

Tak czy owak, zostawiam linka do filmu i idę spać.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/santas-workshop/

Over&Out."

(R)age of snow

Dear God/Buddha/Allah or however You wish to be addressed,

It has come to my attention that the sudden yet generous snowfall this year might be a sign, or a test sent by You to your people. If that is the case I would like to make the following statement:

Please, in all your divine mercy, opt me out.

As a person of little (if any) faith, that is not affiliated (or wishes to be) with any religion I DO NOT wish to partake in the mentioned testing process. Therefore, please do not send more snow to my home address, send it to them sinners, at least they will appreciate you more when it melts away.

In conclusion, please, get the fuck, and keep the fuck out of my yard, both front and back.

Thank You,

yours sincerely
a very angry cookiemonster

Bullshit. That pretty much sums up my day.

What a day:

I woke up to a massive nosebleed. Massive. We're talking half a roll of paper towels.

Then it turned out that my stupid government signed ACTA at 3.30 AM, local time. Congrats, you have just lost the next elections and screwed the Interwebs for us on the way.

Then I had to have my presentation, which somehow disappeared from my USB drive and I had to reconstruct it on the spot. Yeah, I'm good.

And then... I began....

My exams... How is memorizing shit only mentioned (absolutely no relation to anything we have discussed during the course) suppose to contribute to my knowledge? Shouldn't I understand the problems, experiments and conclusions that arise from them instead of searching for insignificant shit that I would stumble upon anyways while preparing methodology for an actual study?

I feel like getting shitfaced tonight. I need my MGMT and comparable psychedelic shit that will cradle my mind into oblivion.

Yes, I'm posting an embedded video which is copyright protected. Enjoy. I sure as hell will.

Frustrated with myself (now that's something that happens very often)

Soo... I should be studying. No, seriously I should. And yet, for some reason (read: I'm being LAZY) I'm doing everything but that.It's just one of these days when I feel so overpowered with the pressure of being supposed to do something that I just turn away and hide.

So yeah, I'm supposed to be studying, instead I'm watching/listening to Foster the People on Youtube... And feeling guilty about procrastinating. I should punish myself by taking a slide, topless on the harsh'n'cold snow outside (for all of you pervs that find this idea at least mildly attractive - what is wrong with you people??).

Instead I watched a video of Lana del Rey performing Video Games live of SNL... Just a disclaimer before I elaborate on the said performance, I do love Video Games, it's got a fresh retro-feel with not so bad lyrics. I've only heard this song on the radio before so I clicked on the mentioned live performance video with an opened mind, literally knowing nothing about the performer (apart from knowing she's female - something I couldn't determine listening to Sting's daughter, for example. Not that it's relevant, I just still can't come to terms with the fact that that voice belongs to a girl). Anyways, I watched the video, didn't like it, scrolled through the comments and read through all the hate and trolls.

On the one hand, I do think that her performance was terrible - she couldn't control her pitch, tried way too hard to sound all sultry and whispery and kind of forgot to sing while performing. Her movements were also very awkward and all. Yes, not a performance to be proud of but on the other hand, she seemed like someone pushed into a live gig too soon. Singing in front of a live audience in the studio, knowing you're on SNL, that all can add up to a lot of stress. And she was stressed, clearly, she had it written all over her face. I mean, I have my doubts if she can actually sing well, but I do see potential. I'd say give the kid some time and see what happens. And just at a side note - I think I liked her better not knowing what she looks like - wtf is with her lips? Silicone Hiroshima or what?

Now, I think I should either stop blogging and go to sleep or off to study a bit (and turn off Foster the People. Btw, I wonder why do I like skinny guys so much... there's something about their long legs and arms that really makes me attracted to them... yes, so now you know what I was doing today instead of studying - listening to a shitload of music and eyeing hipsters. I shall be off letting my guilt devour me alive).

The Black Keys - El Camino

I am officially obsessed with the latest album recorded by The Black Keys - a band I know literally nothing about. And I don't have to know anything to enjoy it to the max, the music on this album speaks for itself - it's fucking amazing.

This record is dust on old Convers sneakers, torn jeans and a worn-out t-shirt. It's a run-down gas station, a dusty pay phone, crooked pavements and a sip of cold and bitter beer. It's a night ride on a godforsaken highway with your windows down and the music turd up. It's a scenery you've seen at the beginning of every cheap slasher movie from the 70s. It's good. And I love it.

Yeah, I'm done. Four stars [don't blame me if you won't like it].